Beyond Beginning

Sometimes I find it very hard to start something. But often, while starting is hard, continuing is harder. Whether it be research for something I'm interested in learning, crocheting a blanket (or working on a cross stitch pattern), a project at work, writing, or even just keeping up with a blog of a friend (or *ahem* writing on my own).

It can be for many different reasons. I may be super busy at work for a season and not have time to keep up on my personal pursuits. I may be overwhelmed by the project itself; often I have an idea that is exciting, but once I start working on it or thinking through it, it seems too big (or that I'm unprepared to do it) and the process stops. Sometimes I have good momentum on something but then out of nowhere that 'overwhelmed' feeling creeps in and it all grinds to a halt.

In the last couple weeks I've realized I'm in the middle of at least 8 things like this. Frustrating. Beyond frustrating, actually. I am not a finisher. Well, I am at work, but not in these projects. What does that mean? At work, I usually find the way to keep going because of a deadline or a responsibility that is tied to others. At home, I can set deadlines, but since they usually don't affect anyone but me, it's easy to change, or drop altogether. And then, in time, I find myself disappointed with... myself.

What do you do to get beyond beginning and see something through to the end?

Doctor in the House

I'm obsessed with Doctor Who. Those who know me IRL are not surprised by this statement. Well, maybe you are - it goes in waves. I love the show, but lately, I've been missing it, so I've been compensating in other ways: watching older episodes/re-watching the Christmas episode, making DW crafts, and so on. (yes, crafts.)

I love that it helps me escape in an interesting, thought provoking way. I love that I can have fun conversations with friends (and strangers) face to face as well as over the internet about the joys of the Doctor's world, etc. I love that I can talk about it with a dear friend at work who geeks out over it as much as I do. I love that my dad, mom, youngest brother, and his girlfriend will all geek out over it with me, discuss the possibilities to come, and watch previous episodes together pointing out the things we hope the other didn't miss. Oh, and the quoting of all the good lines. We've had entire conversations that are mostly just quoting sections of one episode after another. good fun. ;)

Sometimes you just need that little escape into something that is fun, still interesting, but has nothing whatsoever to do with your normal life. I've also been hoping to catch up on "Classic Doctor" but am having trouble finding episodes at all, much less in order (which I'd prefer).

What get's you relaxed/geeked out?

God is good

yesterday was another hard day, which i knew it would be, but ended up being so for more reasons.

i hate that.

but i went out with 2 wonderful friends last night for some good food and an amazing (true) love story while curled up on a couch with a gigantic, delicious, red velvet cupcake and homemade cream cheese frosting (the leftovers of which i will eat today).

still, this morning, i was thinking about the discouraging stuff from yesterday (it's hard to escape the blues).

but i had my life group meeting with my lovely ladies and we talked of forgiveness, where our focus is, and how we should truly be thinking about life and its circumstances.

after they left, i planned an evening with a friend (for tonight). i already have seen things that remind me of yesterday's difficulties, and i know i will have to deal with those again next week.

but God is good. He is in control. and He has given me a weekend filled with Himself and friends and laughter to help me keep going.

God is truly good.

It's...

...beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
...also been almost a month since i've written. oops.

Well, today is the 1st of December, and I have a new plan. You perhaps have heard of NaBloPoMo? or NaNoWriMo? I tried NaNoWriMo. I failed...in terms of writing 50,000 words in a month's time. But I won in terms of starting my book. And getting into a groove with it, to where it'll be hard to let go of, even if it takes a long time to finish. I did not try NaBloPoMo.

So... How 'bout I try BEDID (Blog Every Day In December)? Even if it's only a sentence? I'll give it a go! You can count on much being said about Christmas, snow, winter in general, Christmas music, etc. (I love Christmas, in case you didn't remember!)

Today is the 1st of December. It is also the 1st snow (at all, and that is sticking a little) in my corner of the world (which isn't really a corner...). It is the 1st day with a high below 30. And, it is the 1st day I could crack open and eat one of those cheap little chocolates from my store-bought advent calendar.

Feels like a day for 1sts and for wins. ;)

writing update!

Yikes-a-bee! 2 posts in 1 day? Is the world ending? How long's it been since that happened?? (ok, so it's almost tomorrow, but I squeaked it in!)

I need another paragraph (or two) in Chapter 1. I don't think it's long enough, but I've said about all I wanted to, and don't feel like faking it to make it what I think is "long enough." Also, I need about 15-20 (on the conservative side) more chapters. I may need as many as 25 or 30 more. But that might be a little overboard for my first novel.

In other(ish) yet related news...
Can you start chapter 2 before you finish chapter 1? (I know it's physically, mentally possible, but something about it just feels wrong, you know?)

All in all, I feel like I accomplished something tonight. I *ahem* kept moving forward. (want 10 points? tell me where that's from. want 25? tell me the original it was derived from.)

Feels good, writing. I'll be doing it some more, I think.
Oh! And don't forget to give me your feedback on this.

Writing

Remember this?

Yeah, me too.
Well, I've taken a bit of an unplanned hiatus in all things writing. This blog, for example, has been sadly mute in October. Plus, I haven't written anything new in the other thing for over 2 weeks.

I plan to end that sad streak tonight.
I still haven't decided if you get to read any of it before I "put it out there"... or ever, for that matter.

Would you be interested? Do you even want to know what it's about?
Let me know. I'd be interested in your interest.

if i'm missing... don't be alarmed

it's because i'm typing thoughts somewhere else for a bit.
but not in another blog, no.
i have begun.
writing, that is.
if you have no idea what i'm talking about, read the last post first.

i started saturday evening. i dinked around with making a cover, coming up with a pen name that could technically link to mine, changing the cover color about 5 times; you know, the important stuff.

but i had an idea that popped into my head. so i started typing. before i realized it, i had too many ideas, and not enough congruency. don't worry. i stopped typing. i made notes to myself. i thought about characters. i thought about plot. i thought about locations, relationships, how in the world i'm gonna get this person or that person to that place - and not just on time, but ever!

on sunday afternoon, i added a paragraph, plus one line. and i changed some stuff on the cover. namely, my pen name. but that paragraph came so easily. i had opened it to re-read what i had written the day before, expecting to think it was worthless, delete it, and move on with my life. instead, things started happening, and i had to type them before they ran away.

tonight, i have realized what authors mean when they say they don't always know the entire story when they begin. i understand how a character can surprise you. for example, tonight, as i re-read the page from this weekend, and began to elaborate on the circumstances (as they presented themselves to my brain), i discovered that one of my main characters has lost both parents. i certainly didn't intend to do that. i even said to myself "really? no parents? they're gone?" out loud. (yes, out loud.) but no matter how i tried to "fix" it, i couldn't find the parents. they're gone. before i even had a chance to find them.

i am 1 1/2 pages in, complete with a cover, a title, a pen name, an author description (don't worry, it's short), and a back cover overview (do i want to read this book? i dunno, let me read the back and see what it's all about).

so far, i'm amazed. it's coming out when i think it won't. it's sort of writing itself. i know it won't always be that way. but so far, i'm liking it.

so if i'm missing from here more than i usually am, don't be alarmed. just keep your eyes pealed for a new book out soon. i may even give you hints along the way. ;)

to write or not to write

I have always wanted to write.
a book. a short story. a something.

I love (love) books.
kids' books. short stories. novellas. non-fiction (some). fiction (much). articles (of interest).
one of my favorite things to read is the smithsonian magazine - cultures, nature, opinions. interesting, always.

so, I have always had stories creating themselves in my mind. a few times I've tried to write them out. I haven't done so well with that part. it's really hard. I start second-guessing myself. I don't have an education that taught me to write. I struggled immensely in my british lit class in college - I loved the reading, but had a really tough time writing about what I'd read, what I'd discovered in reading.

I love to type. (strange, I know.)
sometimes I do typing tests just for fun.
part of the reason for this blog is so I can write, and type.
it's silly, it doesn't fulfill any purpose other than thinking, getting ideas out of my head, sharing it with the few people who care to stumble across this page from time to time.
once, I started re-typing a book I enjoyed (and still do) just to get rid of the turn of phrase that annoys me that that particular author uses in everything she writes. I never finished (it was a short enough book, but looong to type), and wouldn't have done anything with it - but it was a release. it was fun.

tonight, I found myself wishing I could write better.
maybe I should just start.
even if no one but me ever sees it.
it'll be work.
it'll be a release.
but I think it could be fun.

Anticipation

i have fridays off. starting tomorrow. continuing through (most) of july and one week into august.

i am very excited.

this week it is long overdue. i need it more than i know. which is funny to say, cuz i know i need it, but need it even more than that. oops, i just said that.

plans for the weekend (sat & sun will be VERY busy):
clean house. desperately need to. hope to see my bro on friday. we'll see if the plans work out. rehearsal on saturday afternoon. followed by the wedding of two dear friends. followed by their reception. which promises to be awesome. followed by sleep. followed by early call on sunday morning. followed by a meeting after the 11:00 service. followed by a connections bbq at church with friends. then exhaustion will set in and i will crash. monday is memorial day, and i may see family for breakfast...but again, we'll see if plans pan out. the only other plan on friday and/or monday is to rest, read my Bible (beginning a study of Philippians), and REST.

wish me luck.

How in the world.

It is Administrative Professionals Week.
Didn't realize that until I got a surprise fancy catered lunch and spa outing (with the other admins in my office).

Felt very pampered (and slightly guilty) while being served by the wonderful men who serve on staff (and a couple women), and got my nails done at a spa. We didn't even have to drive ourselves - we were driven in what is officially called "The Compass Bus" but more lovingly known as "The Turtle" (it is a 25 passenger bus).

Got back to work. Went to my desk. Told Facebook I was feeling pampered.
Less than 45 minutes later, that was no longer true.

How in the world.
Ugh.

In case you were wondering...

My day off was wonderful!

It was a little more...um...busy? yes, busy than I originally thought it would be, and involved more running around, but was still spent with my dear, dear friend, and was fabulous.

We got Starbucks (always necessary), ran a few errands (at Target, of course, along with a couple other little ones), and then hung out at her house a bit before heading out for a little stint at the mall (something I haven't done for quite awhile). Good times, my friends. Seriously.

Now, if I had been doing all these things by myself somewhere, it would have been exhausting, tedious, too much in one day. But with my amazing friend, it was fun. We laughed, we have new jokes because of it, we have more insight into how we are each doing right now. We got to enjoy each other's company while doing the things we needed/wanted to do that day.

Getting side-tracked from the "original plan" (which was hazy at best) had no effect.
The excitement paid off. There are still not adequate words to express how much I enjoy time spent with this friend. Love it.

Plans for a Day Off

I am so excited for tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong - today was/is AWESOME. It is Easter, and I have been celebrating my Risen Lord. I have seen family and friend (yes, just one), had good food, and good conversation. I got to see my niece (cutest baby in the world) and got to see pictures of the newest addition to my family (sparking conversation about whether she is my 1st cousin once removed or my second cousin - she's my cousin's daughter. Thoughts/descriptions/clarifications are welcome - along with what my niece and her would be to eachother). Close second to the cutest baby in the world. And now, I have helped my mom clean up, and am shortly heading down to the basement to spend some time with my dad. Wonderful day.

Just after everyone left, the rain started. The thunder started before the last family was gone. HUGE thunder. Sort of comforting; especially knowing that I get to stay here tonight and don't have to rush home in the rain for work tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I have a day off. Our offices are closed.
And I get to see my best friend! It's been about 2... no, wait, 3 months since I've seen her. What!??!?! (Far, far, faaaar too long.) Oh-kay. stop. breathe - this will be remedied tomorrow. ;)

We have some tentative plans - some of which include movies, Starbucks, lunch of some kind, meeting friends of hers I should have met a long time ago, and...well, we'll see how it all pans out.

To sum up:
I am excited. About tomorrow.
More than I can really even express.

"Makes me wanna get my Rocky on, man."

Fun music.
Good clean message.
Some thought provoking ideas, too.

For my comeback kids.

Sorta reminds me of Tobymac.
>> B. Reith.

Oh yeah.
and, (bonus) he knows how to make fun of himself. while getting his message out. sweet.