these are words from a song that has touched me today.
i'm not really feeling like everything is falling apart, but i am feeling some stress and need to think through a few big decisions (nothing crazy, don't get crazy worried).
But, as i believe God brought them to me for a reason, maybe He wants you to see them too.
partial lyrics, Everything Falls, by Fee
you said, you'd never leave or forsake me
when you said, this life is gonna shake me
you said, this world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
this i know
when everything falls apart, your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart, your the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart, and my strength is gone
i find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on
i still believe
your faithful arms will never let me go
and still i know
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
i find you mighty and strong
there will be storms in this life
but i know you will overcome
but i know you will overcome
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
your the only hope for this heart
you keep holding on
make me more like you, Jesus.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Untitled
I am feeling ... untitled tonight.
I watched some MLS (yay). I watched some of "The Office" (yay). I even (why-oh-why) watched a few minutes of a couple other channel 9 (the CW...) shows including "Supernatural" (again: why-oh-why). Then I checked my online ...world... , and now I am about to watch some of a (slightly) depressing, but great movie (which is quickly climbing the ladder to the top of the favorites list) The Fall. This will most likely be followed by a few minutes of reading, even if I'm falling asleep (and, still being sick, I should have been in bed going to sleep over an hour ago).
I am feeling very distracted.
(It has taken me about 25 minutest to write this - and it shouldn't have...)
->I am thinking about decisions I need to make.
->I am thinking about a meeting I wanted to have with someone at church - and how to saw what I feel needs saying without freaking that person out, (or worse) making myself look even more strange than he already (probably) thinks I am.
->I am thinking about a conversation I need to have with someone I work with - and I don't want to, 'cuz I don't even know where to start.
->I am thinking about missions, and what that means for/to me.
->I am wishing I had someone to talk to - who won't (even accidentally) make me feel small or stupid or insignificant.
But, I am feeling insignificant, disconnected, unwanted, as though there is no way for me to live up to the expectations that are there.
*ahem*
I know (I KNOW) that the only Person I have to work for (in ANY situation) is God. I also know I can never reach the standards He has - but I also know that He can. And because of His saving love and His work in me, He can bring me to that standard. So, as long as I focus on and work for HIM, I will not fail. Even if here on earth it looks like failure, or to others, if I am truly following Him, I have not failed.
I am important to Him (only He knows why), I am wanted, I am connected, I am significant; I AM LOVED - by the most amazing Being in the Universe.
I just wish it would translate through a few people here too.
I watched some MLS (yay). I watched some of "The Office" (yay). I even (why-oh-why) watched a few minutes of a couple other channel 9 (the CW...) shows including "Supernatural" (again: why-oh-why). Then I checked my online ...world... , and now I am about to watch some of a (slightly) depressing, but great movie (which is quickly climbing the ladder to the top of the favorites list) The Fall. This will most likely be followed by a few minutes of reading, even if I'm falling asleep (and, still being sick, I should have been in bed going to sleep over an hour ago).
I am feeling very distracted.
(It has taken me about 25 minutest to write this - and it shouldn't have...)
->I am thinking about decisions I need to make.
->I am thinking about a meeting I wanted to have with someone at church - and how to saw what I feel needs saying without freaking that person out, (or worse) making myself look even more strange than he already (probably) thinks I am.
->I am thinking about a conversation I need to have with someone I work with - and I don't want to, 'cuz I don't even know where to start.
->I am thinking about missions, and what that means for/to me.
->I am wishing I had someone to talk to - who won't (even accidentally) make me feel small or stupid or insignificant.
But, I am feeling insignificant, disconnected, unwanted, as though there is no way for me to live up to the expectations that are there.
*ahem*
I know (I KNOW) that the only Person I have to work for (in ANY situation) is God. I also know I can never reach the standards He has - but I also know that He can. And because of His saving love and His work in me, He can bring me to that standard. So, as long as I focus on and work for HIM, I will not fail. Even if here on earth it looks like failure, or to others, if I am truly following Him, I have not failed.
I am important to Him (only He knows why), I am wanted, I am connected, I am significant; I AM LOVED - by the most amazing Being in the Universe.
I just wish it would translate through a few people here too.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
How in the world.
It is Administrative Professionals Week.
Didn't realize that until I got a surprise fancy catered lunch and spa outing (with the other admins in my office).
Felt very pampered (and slightly guilty) while being served by the wonderful men who serve on staff (and a couple women), and got my nails done at a spa. We didn't even have to drive ourselves - we were driven in what is officially called "The Compass Bus" but more lovingly known as "The Turtle" (it is a 25 passenger bus).
Got back to work. Went to my desk. Told Facebook I was feeling pampered.
Less than 45 minutes later, that was no longer true.
How in the world.
Ugh.
Didn't realize that until I got a surprise fancy catered lunch and spa outing (with the other admins in my office).
Felt very pampered (and slightly guilty) while being served by the wonderful men who serve on staff (and a couple women), and got my nails done at a spa. We didn't even have to drive ourselves - we were driven in what is officially called "The Compass Bus" but more lovingly known as "The Turtle" (it is a 25 passenger bus).
Got back to work. Went to my desk. Told Facebook I was feeling pampered.
Less than 45 minutes later, that was no longer true.
How in the world.
Ugh.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
In case you were wondering...
My day off was wonderful!
It was a little more...um...busy? yes, busy than I originally thought it would be, and involved more running around, but was still spent with my dear, dear friend, and was fabulous.
We got Starbucks (always necessary), ran a few errands (at Target, of course, along with a couple other little ones), and then hung out at her house a bit before heading out for a little stint at the mall (something I haven't done for quite awhile). Good times, my friends. Seriously.
Now, if I had been doing all these things by myself somewhere, it would have been exhausting, tedious, too much in one day. But with my amazing friend, it was fun. We laughed, we have new jokes because of it, we have more insight into how we are each doing right now. We got to enjoy each other's company while doing the things we needed/wanted to do that day.
Getting side-tracked from the "original plan" (which was hazy at best) had no effect.
The excitement paid off. There are still not adequate words to express how much I enjoy time spent with this friend. Love it.
It was a little more...um...busy? yes, busy than I originally thought it would be, and involved more running around, but was still spent with my dear, dear friend, and was fabulous.
We got Starbucks (always necessary), ran a few errands (at Target, of course, along with a couple other little ones), and then hung out at her house a bit before heading out for a little stint at the mall (something I haven't done for quite awhile). Good times, my friends. Seriously.
Now, if I had been doing all these things by myself somewhere, it would have been exhausting, tedious, too much in one day. But with my amazing friend, it was fun. We laughed, we have new jokes because of it, we have more insight into how we are each doing right now. We got to enjoy each other's company while doing the things we needed/wanted to do that day.
Getting side-tracked from the "original plan" (which was hazy at best) had no effect.
The excitement paid off. There are still not adequate words to express how much I enjoy time spent with this friend. Love it.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Vincent Price
For some odd reason, it makes me smile when I hear Vincent Price's voice. He almost always plays creepy or evil characters (even in The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston). And I will not see everything, or even most of what he's been in. However, a friend sent me a link to this video a while back (remembered as I'm typing this), and it made me smile at how accurate the portrayal of Vincent was - it's the voice that does it.
Tonight, while doing laundry and a little cleaning up (I'm having company tomorrow), I decided I'd better watch the Tim Burton movie I borrowed from my brother so I can give it back the next time I see him (in about a week). One of the extras were early Tim Burton videos, and I found this one.
Simple, made in 1982 (!), and chock-full of Vincent Price. Shared it with the one friend I knew would appreciate it, and went on my way.
But you know, I just couldn't let it sit there. I had to share it here too!
Enjoy!
Tonight, while doing laundry and a little cleaning up (I'm having company tomorrow), I decided I'd better watch the Tim Burton movie I borrowed from my brother so I can give it back the next time I see him (in about a week). One of the extras were early Tim Burton videos, and I found this one.
Simple, made in 1982 (!), and chock-full of Vincent Price. Shared it with the one friend I knew would appreciate it, and went on my way.
But you know, I just couldn't let it sit there. I had to share it here too!
Enjoy!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Plans for a Day Off
I am so excited for tomorrow.
Don't get me wrong - today was/is AWESOME. It is Easter, and I have been celebrating my Risen Lord. I have seen family and friend (yes, just one), had good food, and good conversation. I got to see my niece (cutest baby in the world) and got to see pictures of the newest addition to my family (sparking conversation about whether she is my 1st cousin once removed or my second cousin - she's my cousin's daughter. Thoughts/descriptions/clarifications are welcome - along with what my niece and her would be to eachother). Close second to the cutest baby in the world. And now, I have helped my mom clean up, and am shortly heading down to the basement to spend some time with my dad. Wonderful day.
Just after everyone left, the rain started. The thunder started before the last family was gone. HUGE thunder. Sort of comforting; especially knowing that I get to stay here tonight and don't have to rush home in the rain for work tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I have a day off. Our offices are closed.
And I get to see my best friend! It's been about 2... no, wait, 3 months since I've seen her. What!??!?! (Far, far, faaaar too long.) Oh-kay. stop. breathe - this will be remedied tomorrow. ;)
We have some tentative plans - some of which include movies, Starbucks, lunch of some kind, meeting friends of hers I should have met a long time ago, and...well, we'll see how it all pans out.
To sum up:
I am excited. About tomorrow.
More than I can really even express.
Don't get me wrong - today was/is AWESOME. It is Easter, and I have been celebrating my Risen Lord. I have seen family and friend (yes, just one), had good food, and good conversation. I got to see my niece (cutest baby in the world) and got to see pictures of the newest addition to my family (sparking conversation about whether she is my 1st cousin once removed or my second cousin - she's my cousin's daughter. Thoughts/descriptions/clarifications are welcome - along with what my niece and her would be to eachother). Close second to the cutest baby in the world. And now, I have helped my mom clean up, and am shortly heading down to the basement to spend some time with my dad. Wonderful day.
Just after everyone left, the rain started. The thunder started before the last family was gone. HUGE thunder. Sort of comforting; especially knowing that I get to stay here tonight and don't have to rush home in the rain for work tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I have a day off. Our offices are closed.
And I get to see my best friend! It's been about 2... no, wait, 3 months since I've seen her. What!??!?! (Far, far, faaaar too long.) Oh-kay. stop. breathe - this will be remedied tomorrow. ;)
We have some tentative plans - some of which include movies, Starbucks, lunch of some kind, meeting friends of hers I should have met a long time ago, and...well, we'll see how it all pans out.
To sum up:
I am excited. About tomorrow.
More than I can really even express.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
San Diego Conference - Promise (finally) Fulfilled
First, I said this.
Then, I said this.
...and it's not Monday night as promised - it's Thursday... forgive me. Ok, here we go.
We left on a Sunday morning. I swear our (main) flight attendant was Mike Rowe. Without hair. Once we'd been picked up from the airport, we went to lunch in Ocean Beach, which culminated in some interesting "calamari" that looked more like a flat piece of rubbery plastic under the eggs Benedict, and tasted about the same. Fortunately, I had a very tasty zucchini sandwich. mmm. that kind of goodness could make me a vegetarian very easily. Then we walked on the beach in the sun, and tried not to fall asleep standing up. It was breezy - ocean and all that - but nice. Then we stopped for a little ice cream and I bought the necessary salt water taffy to take home.
Once at the hotel, we simply unpacked and relaxed for a couple hours until our first session of the conference. Surprise! We got to enjoy Tim Hawkins, a fabulous Christian comedian who literally had us laughing so hard we were crying for 45 minutes straight. Still, so funny. "I don't know where that snort came from! I've never done that before!! I have a pig in my soul that just won't come out!"
The sessions the next day were wonderful - the worship was great, the speakers were amazing, the topics were fabulous. I felt like God had designed my schedule - it was just what I needed to hear. This includes one speaker I heard 3 times (and was glad to). I went to ones on prayer, leadership, and rejuvenation along with a few other topics mixed in. I was encouraged by hearing that I don't necessarily have to "stay put" to be staying in God's will.
We also got to go to dinner one night - the same Mexican restaurant we went to last year in Old Town San Diego - and hear our 'friends' the singers (for tips) play some songs for us - complete with cheesy grins, singing along, and laughing.
I was able to enjoy the sunshine (and get the tiniest bit of color) in many ways. One of the best was that one night when we went to La Jolla ("la hoya" to those who need pronunciation help) for dinner, we stopped to listen/look at the waves in the dark - and realized those "rocks" on the shore were seals! We went to dinner then at a place called Azul, which was expensive (woah) but delicious. The next morning before we went to the airport, we went back to La Jolla to watch the seals and take pictures - and found out 2 babies had been born the night before, just before we were there. Amazing.
Then, of course, the flight home had its own interesting little bits. First, we sat by the same man on the way home as we did on the way there (passenger) and had some laughs over that. Then, again, we had a pretty funny flight attendant (a woman, this time). At the end of our flight, she sang a little song (to the tune of I love you, you love me from the Barney show) "...marry one of us and you'll fly free..." followed promptly by laughter from the passengers, to which she said, "You'd better clap, or I'll sing again." We all laughed louder, and clapped immediately.
Overall, it was a good time to hear from God, enjoy His creation, and find some time to rest, relax, and refresh. Thanks be to God!
Then, I said this.
...and it's not Monday night as promised - it's Thursday... forgive me. Ok, here we go.
We left on a Sunday morning. I swear our (main) flight attendant was Mike Rowe. Without hair. Once we'd been picked up from the airport, we went to lunch in Ocean Beach, which culminated in some interesting "calamari" that looked more like a flat piece of rubbery plastic under the eggs Benedict, and tasted about the same. Fortunately, I had a very tasty zucchini sandwich. mmm. that kind of goodness could make me a vegetarian very easily. Then we walked on the beach in the sun, and tried not to fall asleep standing up. It was breezy - ocean and all that - but nice. Then we stopped for a little ice cream and I bought the necessary salt water taffy to take home.
Once at the hotel, we simply unpacked and relaxed for a couple hours until our first session of the conference. Surprise! We got to enjoy Tim Hawkins, a fabulous Christian comedian who literally had us laughing so hard we were crying for 45 minutes straight. Still, so funny. "I don't know where that snort came from! I've never done that before!! I have a pig in my soul that just won't come out!"
The sessions the next day were wonderful - the worship was great, the speakers were amazing, the topics were fabulous. I felt like God had designed my schedule - it was just what I needed to hear. This includes one speaker I heard 3 times (and was glad to). I went to ones on prayer, leadership, and rejuvenation along with a few other topics mixed in. I was encouraged by hearing that I don't necessarily have to "stay put" to be staying in God's will.
We also got to go to dinner one night - the same Mexican restaurant we went to last year in Old Town San Diego - and hear our 'friends' the singers (for tips) play some songs for us - complete with cheesy grins, singing along, and laughing.
I was able to enjoy the sunshine (and get the tiniest bit of color) in many ways. One of the best was that one night when we went to La Jolla ("la hoya" to those who need pronunciation help) for dinner, we stopped to listen/look at the waves in the dark - and realized those "rocks" on the shore were seals! We went to dinner then at a place called Azul, which was expensive (woah) but delicious. The next morning before we went to the airport, we went back to La Jolla to watch the seals and take pictures - and found out 2 babies had been born the night before, just before we were there. Amazing.
Then, of course, the flight home had its own interesting little bits. First, we sat by the same man on the way home as we did on the way there (passenger) and had some laughs over that. Then, again, we had a pretty funny flight attendant (a woman, this time). At the end of our flight, she sang a little song (to the tune of I love you, you love me from the Barney show) "...marry one of us and you'll fly free..." followed promptly by laughter from the passengers, to which she said, "You'd better clap, or I'll sing again." We all laughed louder, and clapped immediately.
Overall, it was a good time to hear from God, enjoy His creation, and find some time to rest, relax, and refresh. Thanks be to God!
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