Lessons on Happiness

(it's long, guys. read it anyway.)

A couple weeks ago, I went to Target for some groceries. It was a quick trip with a short list, and I was pleased with myself that I stuck to it. When I went to the check out lanes they were, as usual, fairly busy, but not crazy like they sometimes are. I found a lane in which the cashier was coming around to stand at the end and invite people into his line - but I beat him to it. He said hello, and asked how I was doing. I replied with the common "I'm good, thanks." He replied, "You're welcome."

How many people do you know who respond that way? When someone tells me they're fine, thanks, I usually move on in the conversation, or let it drop there. He did not. He also seemed to be someone who has some difference in interactions - social cues are not something he picks up on well. Because of this, he has honest responses that come out because of the situation he is in, and the conversation being given to him. When a person says thanks to you, the proper response is to say, "You're welcome," back to them. But we often let it drop.

I then asked him how he was doing and we had a very nice little conversation while he scanned and bagged my items. He was excited to see a cd (I can't remember which) and went on to tell me how good that music was and that he thought I'd enjoy it. As I left the store, I thought about how much my day had been improved by his genuine, kind interaction with me, and by his excitement for something that is in my world and outside of his. He was thrilled that I'd be listening to something we both liked later that day. How different would our lives be if we rejoiced more in the small things - even if they were things that were going to benefit someone else more than ourselves?

A couple days later, I decided to pick up breakfast at the McDonald's by work. I'm not there too often, but often enough to recognize a few of the employees who work the drive-through window. This particular day, I recognized the woman in the 2nd window, and smiled as she handed me my food. I have no idea if she recognized me, or if she just talks this way to everyone, but she called me honey (as in, "Here you are, honey") and when I said thanks, she said, "You have a good weekend, honey," with a smile. It was Thursday. She new I'd not be back on Friday. So, "have a good weekend." That day, a Thursday, about 3 or 4 weeks later, she told me the same thing. It is a tiny thing, and it may be for everyone, but it brightens my day every time.

I also stopped for a coffee from Starbucks this morning. The line was longer than I usually see at this particular location, but I was running early, so I decided to wait it out. I had money on a Starbucks card I'd been given, and needed the caffeine boost at the end of a long week. When I got up to the window, I was told by the barista that the car in front of me had paid for my drink. I have done that a few times at various drive-throughs, but have never had it done for me. I believe I said, "Oh, wow!" and then promptly asked how much the total was for the car behind me. It was about $10, which was 2x what I had planned to pay for my coffee - and I hesitated. I didn't have enough on my card to cover it. Then, I realized that that was ridiculous. I felt God whispering, "Really? You're not willing to give up an extra $5? It's really not that big of a deal!" $10 is still very cheap to "pay it forward" and I had $10 cash in my wallet. So I told her I wanted to pay for the car behind me as I reached for my money. She told me, "It's really ok," and I assured her it was what I wanted to do. She laughed, shocked, and told me it was like a line - 5 cars in front of me had been doing this. Wow!

Something someone decided to do 5 cars ahead of me had been blessing people far beyond what they expected. They expected to do a small nice thing for the car behind them. And that person decided to continue it, regardless of what happened next. I have no way of knowing who paid for my coffee this morning, and no way of knowing who I paid for behind me. I have no idea if it kept going after me, or if so, for how long. The point is, it was a small thing I was able to do - and I obeyed. I know it brightened my day, and hope it did for whomever was behind me.

It was this event at Starbucks that reminded me of the others in the last few weeks. Sometimes little things that are easily passed by or overlooked because they aren't big enough gestures, or are small but take a little effort, are the things that really can change the direction of someone's day. I am tired, I am super busy at work, and I have felt fairly overwhelmed several times in the last few weeks. But these small acts of kindness and genuine care shown in small simple ways over the last few weeks made today a good one - even as busy as it was.

The funniest part is that when I got in and changed my daily calendar over to Friday, May 16th, this is what I saw:

God has a great sense of humor, doesn't He?

It just cemented what I'd been mulling over the past half hour and reminded me that these are the things that create happiness. It is a choice - which I hate to admit - but the choice sometimes isn't in how you feel, but in how you react to how you feel. When you choose to give, to share, to be kind, you change your perspective and your trajectory. Sometimes you see the reaction and the impact your action gives, and sometimes you don't. Either way, we are to give
and love not because it is good for us, but because it is good for them. The amazing thing about our great God is that He knows we need a pick me up too. He knows that the joy we can experience from obeying in these small moments is truly what makes the difference in a life.


I want my life to be one marked by giving and loving. I can only do it because He enables me to do so, but I so desire that to be how people perceive me. I have been so frustrated lately, and my circumstances have not changed - and I don't expect them to any time soon - but today I choose to do a better job not complaining (even internally) and not putting on a fake front, but choosing to do and act out of love and caring and giving rather than the frustration or tiredness I feel.

Because of that, today, I'm really good.

drip-drip-drop, little april shower

For some reason this song has been running through my mind since Tuesday evening, so when I came out of youth group and felt and heard the lovely little rain tonight, I couldn't help but post it (even though it has stopped -at least for now - as I type this).

Things like this are the reason I love Disney so much.


drip,drip,drop,little april shower
beating a tune as you fall all around
drip,drip,drop little april shower
what can compare with your beautiful sound
beautiful sound
beautiful sound
drip,drop,drip,drop

drip,drip,drop,when the sky is cloudy
your pretty music will brighten the day
drip,drip,drop,when the sky is cloudy
you come along with a song right away
come with your beautiful music

drip,drip,drop,little april shower
beating a tune as you fall all around
drip,drip,drop little april shower
what can compare with your beautiful sound

drip,drip,drop,when the sky is cloudy
you come along with your pretty little song
drip,drip,drop,when the sky is cloudy
you come along with your pretty little song
gay little roundelay
(gay little roundelay)
song of the rainy day
(song of the rainy day)
how i love to hear your patter
pretty little pitter patter
helter skelter when you pelter
troubles always seem to scatter

drip,drip,drop,little april shower
beating a tune as you fall all around
drip,drip,drop little april shower
what can compare with your beautiful sound

drip,drip,drop,little april shower
beating a tune as you fall all around
drip,drip,drop little april shower
what can compare with your beautiful sound
beautiful sound, mmm

Because of Christ, I live.

This morning, I think of this verse in one of my favorite books of the Bible:

Philippians 3:8-12 (ESV)
"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own."

Because of Christ, I can be made whole. Because of Christ, I can be righteous. There is power in the resurrection. There is peace. There is joy.

In the quiet this morning, I feel the exhaustion of a week spent doing extra, thinking extra, and sleeping less. I feel the weight of responsibility for what we will do at church again this morning. I
am tired from a busy week, and even more tired thinking of the things that have yet to be done today.  I look forward to serving the families that attend our church this morning. I look forward to celebrating with my family later today. I look forward to resting tomorrow.

BUT, more than all that, I am thankful that my Savior defeated death once for all, and because of that I can and will rejoice for all eternity in His presence. That is truly amazing. 

So now, this morning, as I rush off to a busy Easter day serving and celebrating, I leave you with these words from Ephesians...

Ephesians 1:3-10 (ESV)
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."

"Good" Friday

I work at a church. I have heard and had several conversations about Good Friday in this week before Easter. A few have heard it called Black Friday, and our conversations have all centered around WHY this Friday is good. In other countries like Moldova and Romania, it's always called Black or Grey Friday from what my international friends have told me. Calling it "good" gives them another reason to think we Americans are crazy. They understand why it's good, but it still isn't Good - it's Black.

I tend to agree with them.

I always hear myself saying "... well, I sort of hate Good Friday. I mean, I am grateful for it, immensely so, but I don't like it." Between my first comment and the rest of my explanation, I get a momentary look of terror from whomever I'm speaking with, that relaxes as they understand what I mean. I really am not a fan of this day.

I am so thankful that Jesus died for my sin so I could live with Him and for Him eternally. But I really hate WHY He had to do that. I hate that my sin exists. I hate the struggle, I hate the pain, I hate the suffering - and not just of myself, but of those around me. On the occasions I let myself really sit still and think about that, I can hardly bear the fact that MY sin, MY mistakes, MY selfishness put the Person who loves me more than I can ever fathom through the most horrific pain and death. And all because He loves me that much. He loves me SO much, He willingly went to the cross, was beaten, was stabbed with a spear, was mocked, was spit on, and died suffocating while hanging by nails. And He'd never, ever, in His entire existence done anything remotely wrong. He was perfect. And He dealt with all that in quiet and patience because He wanted to save me from myself and from separation from Himself.

No one else loves you like that.
So, for that, though I hate the reason, I am overwhelmed by gratitude, grace, peace, and love.
And that makes this Black Friday good.

Excess & Minimalism

(fair warning, this is one of those "longer than I expected" posts.)

I have been fascinated by minimalism for about 3 years now. Fascinated, but not committed. If you were to ask me how much I have minimized my life in those 3 years, I'd readily admit that I have a very long way to go. I have taken a couple of steps, but no more. Yet (or so I keep telling myself).

But if you ask me what my plan is to make those couple of steps into more and more, I don't have a solid answer. And when I realize that, I feel guilty, because I know I am very comfortable, despite the things I'd still like to have in my life. This applies both to relationships, job and life aspirations, and actual tangible "things."I don't know that I'd say I live in excess... but I certainly don't live a minimal life, and just knowing that I don't quantify myself as "in excess" probably means that's exactly where I am.

The new small group I'm in with some friends is reading a book on "...mutiny against excess." (7, by Jen Hatmaker). Talk about timing. I just finished a group focused on keeping goals and striving to live better. Throughout those 3 months of our goal keeping challenges, one of the girls shared many pertinent articles from a blog I've come across a few times in the past years: Becoming Minimalist. The author has a family, so sometimes it's how to do family life minimalistically, and sometimes it's for you as an individual (which of course has ripples for those around you). It has been a good jumping off point for many thoughts and discoveries these past few months.

I have only started the introduction to 7. Already, I can tell it will make me think very thoroughly about what I believe ,and what God is saying to me. It has already challenged me to make sure I'm not just sitting back and thinking about these things, but rather making changes to glorify the God I say I serve.

In the intro, Jen mentions that most of us in the US are super rich, especially when compared to people almost anywhere else in the world. The majority of the people on this planet live for $2 per DAY, and we here complain that we don't have enough, and pray for more. She states that if you make 35k per year, you are in the top 4% in the world. Woah.

Now, I hear my defenses rear up immediately... "I make less than that! At least I'm not in that top percent...oh. Wait." Though I make less, I'm still in the top 10%, I bet (I haven't actually checked). I know I'm in the top 50%, and am likely in the top 80% or more. $2 per day?! It's unfathomable in so many ways.

Of course, I also hear my defenses saying, "yeah, but things are more expensive here than in a lot of those places... so if you right-size I bet it's not as horrible in statistics." Seriously, girl? Knock it off. You live in the richest, safest country in the world. Shut up.

I strive to live with what I need, and not much more, but I KNOW I have more books than I need (it pains me to say that. I love books). I have movies, tv shows on dvd. I have plenty of clothes - and not just an outfit or two to rotate and wash. I have a surplus of blankets, toiletries, towels, even. And that's just the beginning.

While I don't think it wise to swallow anything we read without thinking about it and processing it, even if it's from people we know and/or trust, I think it worth saying that we must must MUST not write things off either; even if it's written by people we're not sure about or don't trust. I have a few friends who have read this book and have been challenged and changed by its contents. I don't know what that will look like for me, but to be only a few pages in and be compelled and challenged enough to write about it bodes well, I think. I don't know that I'll ever be truly a minimalist in the most specific sense, but I do think there are many practices and philosophies that line up well with what God calls us to be.

I don't know how often I'll write about it, but you can bet I'll be thinking much over the next several weeks (and beyond). Here's hoping the challenges don't paralyze me, but rather motivate me to action, and to positive change.

Goal: Complete! (Well, sort of...)

Back in January, I posted about how I hate goals.
And how I was...

...part of a wonderful group of ladies who is setting goals for 3 months - Jan-Mar 2014 to stick by. Many of us are setting goals for the year, but knowing that the accountability is to see it through to March. ...we are all on the same page....

We have all had ups and downs. But I can hardly believe it's been 3 months! Today I congratulated us all on making it - and doing well in our challenges. I know this couldn't have happened without each other. One of the girls even said that this was really encouraging to her (she did it last year alone, and invited us to join her this year).

On Day 30, I posted an update to our group - goals #2 & #3 were vague as ever and it was super frustrating. Thanks for the (continued) lesson on patience, God. I think. Anyway, it was not less than I expected, but not what I hoped for either. However, on my #1 goal, I had made progress (yay!) but needed to make an adjustment so I wouldn't quit because I felt like I'd failed already.I decided (through prayer and conversation) that it would be best to not make a daily reading goal, but a weekly one. I made my goal 75 minutes per week, and moved forward with that, to great encouragement from the girls.

Today is the last day of our 3 month challenge. While I didn't always hit my 75 minute goal, my #1 Goal has been met - my time spent Bible reading is more consistent - though (of course) I still have things to tweak. I am more in the Word than I have been in the last year, and I can already see the effects of His changing hand in my outlook and my attitude (not to say I still don't have bad days!). I have also seen a decline in how much time I've spent on media as well - sometimes with my Bible, sometimes with a lesser book, but I'd say seeing that down without it being an express goal is kinda cool. 

As far as goal #2, I have found peace and lost the guilt that was hanging over me regarding things past and even things current. God has given me the gift of grace and peace in that situation - and I could not be more grateful! I know that only God knows what will come in the future, but God is so good, and I am excited to see how He uses me in that situation, rather than fearing htat I'm failing Him.

Goal #3 still needs some work, and is still adding to the stress in my life. But. I know now that I need to find a way to change the situation - and I am praying more diligently and more directly for a clear, direct answer from God. It involves some change, which may terrify me, but I can't just let it go on this one. And the bonus is, I know I have a group of ladies praying for me still!

I LOVED being part of this group this past 3 months. Even on days or weeks I didn't have much to contribute, just keeping up with and encouraging and praying for them was hugely beneficial and encouraging to me. I thank God for the opportunity He gave me to "meet" them and connect with them.

Here's to the next 9 months!

Books and Lists

I have been in love with books for my entire life (thanks Mom & Dad). 

In 2010, on recommendation from a friend, I decided to join Goodreads. I was thrilled to find that it was, as she described, a site that is one (small) part social, one part lists and list making, and one part sharing the love of reading and books. In 2011 I began tracking my reading, and have been doing so off and on ever since. I love being able to see when I last read a book - and knowing that it is, indeed, time to pick it up again.

I added books to my "read" list only if it was current enough that I could give you several more details than you'd want on the plot and the characters. Otherwise, I'd add it to "to read" and give it a rating based on what I did remember (if anything). There are several I've read since that I simply haven't kept track of on there.

One of the things I love is going through my friends' lists, and the other lists Goodreads has made available such as books-turned-into-movies, and so forth. There are online book clubs, discussion groups, honest reviews (mostly - much better than most sites including Barnes & Noble and Amazon). Many books have been added to my "to read" list from browsing others. When I am finding myself running out of things to read, or bored with what I have on my shelves at home, I can easily look at my "to read" list and get them at the library (or put a hold on them to pick up when they're back in). It is a wonderous thing. :)

I have also been in love with lists since before I can remember. 

I think it has to do with school and liking organization. Anyway.

In light of this, I thought it would be fun (if for no one else, that's ok) to have some lists of books I've read on this blog. So today I spent some time putting pages on this blog starting in 2011 that have the lists of books I know I read each year according to my Goodreads profile. Last year I tracked pretty good, and this year I've started to keep better track. I'm excited to see how many books I'll read this year - and how many will be repeats and how many new gems I'll discover.

One note I feel I must make: the yearly lists don't say if I like these books or not - you can check what rating I gave them on Goodreads if you like. Also, a friendly reminder that just because I like it doesn't mean you will (of course)! 

Join me on the journey - and if you read something, let me know! I'm always looking for more titles.