Thankful

Just be thankful.
an exercise in thankfulness.

1. I have been saved by grace.
2. I have been loved first by God, and chosen as His own.
3. I have been loved as unconditionally as humanly possible by my parents.
4. I have 2 brothers who love me.
5. I have a sister who loves me. 
6. I have a niece and 3 nephews who I adore. 
7. I have best friends who love me.
8. I have several other "inner circle" friends who love me.
9. I have grandparents who love me and pray for me daily.
10. My close friends and family challenge me when necessary.
11. These people comfort and encourage me when necessary.
12. I have so many prayer warriors that I really cannot fathom being so lucky.
13. I have a job which I was clearly directed to by God.
14. I have a home, and a great roommate.
15. I have many material blessings - both necessities and non-necessities.
16. I can escape into many amazing worlds through reading and writing.
17. I can use my talents and my gifts for God's glory, and try to do so often.
18. I am capable of learning new information and skills.
19. I am able to give back to the Lord because He has given so much to me.
20. God provides for me every day, even when I don't realize it or recognize it.
21. God chose me, so I can be part of his Kingdom.
22. God loves me, so I can be His vessel to love others as well.
23. God gifted me, so I can be His instrument here on earth.
24. God created me, and He doesn't make mistakes.
25. God allows me to experience suffering, because I learn to trust Him more, and am a witness for His strength and goodness through my experiences.
26. God gives me time of renewal so I don't give up.
27. God is the reason I exist. Glorifying Him is the purpose of my life.
28. God is good.
29. God is just.
30. God is patient.
31. God is faithful.

On Poetry

A friend of mine decided to do a poetry challenge on Facebook, which is that someone gives you a poet and you share a poem you love/like by them. She was given Silverstein, and posted “Hug O’ War.” I liked her post and so she gave me a poet to post. Now, I know some poetry, but nearly as much as I would like. I like some Thoreau, Cummings, Whitman, Dickinson. And I know Poe, Frost, and Shakespeare, of course, along with others we had to learn/read in school. And I love Shel Silverstein, as most who’ve been children in this recent era do.

I have a book of Dickinson and a book of Thoreau at home, and love occasionally taking time to just sit and slowly read through some of their pages, letting the words seep in. I have, of course, read much Shakespeare thanks to school and being part of drama departments.

For the challenge, I was given E.E. Cummings.

I thought it’d be hard to find one I liked, and I even started to search Google to read through some and pick one out. Then I remembered I keep this one on me most of the time. I saw it about a year ago somewhere online, and it is so perfect. It is a redirect, a prayer of thanksgiving, a recognition of the amazing world around me, and a reminder of how amazing each day is. It is my favorite by him. Even though I haven't read all there is from him, I find it hard to imagine this one being displaced.

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Even if you don't love it like I do, don't you find it encouraging?

I think poetry is one of the best things for expressing emotion. Not that other types of writing can't or don't do that, but poetry seems to capture the way my mind thinks in lines that sometimes seem (or are) disconnected while still communicating an overall direction of emotion(s). I love that each line can be an independent thought, or that it can intersect with others to make a larger thought, depending on how it's written and how you're thinking. In the poem above I love the parenthetical phrases that are like the unspoken thoughts in the mind of the writer. I love how it flows and includes questions and an epiphany. The honesty, and wonder, and amazement.

Inspiring and uplifting.

Five Years

Today. Today, five years ago, I started work at The Compass Church (which was then known as EFCN). It has not necessarily been an easy 5 years, but I would say they have been good overall.

In that time I have deepened friendships that were just beginning, as well as made some even in the past 7-8 months that I never saw coming (isn't God good?). I have learned a lot - about myself, about my faith, about my stubbornness (or perhaps diligence), about my job and my abilities. I have some regrets, of course, but often those things I neglected or mistook or screwed up have been the motivation that has pushed me onward and upward.

I have gotten excited too about what I can imagine for the future. Some of these things seem so far out of reach, or out of my "zone of ability" (whatever that is). Others just seem like the type of thing you daydream about but never actually have the time or money to do (travel, film and edit things, etc.). But some of these things seem... within reach. Sort of.

I mean, there are many obstacles no matter what we do in life. When I started my job, I hoped I'd still be there, still like it in 5 years, but I honestly just wasn't sure. Now that I've reached that milestone, I have no idea what the next 5 will hold. I may still be here, doing what I'm doing, making what tiny difference I can with what I've been given. I may live somewhere else. I may not know any of my close friends in the same way anymore (woah, just got a bit depressing, let's move it along quickly, ok?) and I may have a few (or many) new ones I've yet to meet. But I see possibilities, and that's exciting.

While today is a milestone of sorts, and one I haven't crossed before, it is also just another day. Another day in the life God has given me to use my gifts to the best of my ability to glorify Him. And in the end, that's the whole point to anything I ever do. The future, whatever it holds, can come as it may.

Missing Pieces

I've been missing... sorry about that. Let me 'splain. No. There is too much. Let me sum up:

JAMAICA

Amazing. God made some very clear comments to my heart. Not as clear as I'd like, but clear none-the-less. I had an amazing time despite sweating every moment of every day - including while I slept, ate, worked, and even showered. We're talking dripping down my back as I ate my tiny breakfast at 8 in the morning. Met amazing people who inspire me to follow God's leading and watch what happens, worked with kids who were so excited to hang on us and be loved by us that everything we did/said/showed them was an instant hit, painted, was exhausted, and bonded with some of the coolest students on the planet. Don't know when my next adventure will be, but even now thinking back on my experience there with God, I can't wait to see how He uses me next.

SUMMER DAY CAMP

The reason I never blogged about Jamaica. I came home, I rested for A day. I did enough laundry to get through the week. I worked countless hours making sure we were prepared for Day Camp. This was my life for the next 3 weeks. Oh, and prepping for the fall ministry year. Yeah, cuz there isn't too much to do for that, is there? No. Of course not, silly.

VACATION AT THE LAKE
My saving grace this summer. It was the thing I looked forward to most after Jamaica. It was my time for rest, for recovery, for revitalization. I went with my mom and spent 9 & 1/2 days walking, reading, sitting in the sun, eating junk (spoiled Americans), taking pictures of God's glorious creation, talking with my grandparents, and relaxing (what a concept). It was wonderful.

A DAY WITH THE KIDDOS

I spent my first day back from Minnesota with my brother's family - my beautiful niece, my two adorable nephews, the best sister-in-law a girl could ever hope for, and (one of) my sweet brother(s). Pictures, tickling, laughing, hugging, Elmo-and-silly-song watching joyfulness.

FALL PREP AT WORK and beyond...

Yup. It came fast, it came crazy, it came expected and yet unexpectedly busy for some reason. I have now begun as a leader with our youth group, my small group (which I am also leader of) has switched gears, and I have helped my friend get some of our church's singles events going. It's been amazing, but I have not had a free weekend since ... August 18th. I have been out of town with friends, family, other youth leaders.

Today, in the midst of the last week of September (what??? where did the time go??) I realized I hadn't written here since JULY. (#epicfail) The summary now complete, I vow to be more regular again. Last year was a sad showing. This year has been positively pitiful. Let's make it look a little better before it leaves us, shall we?

Until next time...what have you been up to since July?

Conflict(s)... resolution... (part last)

Today was the day.

Had the time to say what was needed.
God gave me the clarity (or enough) of words and thoughts.

I didn't lose it.

I was honest. I didn't sugar coat or leave anything out.
I know the only reason it went that well was because of all the people praying for us and our Amazing God who does it all.

I already feel the lifting of the burden. I know that going forward it will be better. I know I am truly valued. I know that I am worth working through things (and so is the other). It was difficult, but the frustration has lifted, and though I'm sure it will resurface at times, I know that I can bring it up and re-confront it more easily, and know that it is maintenance and something we both want to keep good. We are starting with a clean, forgiven slate, covered by love for each other (as sisters in Christ), and the Love that supports us above all else (God).

Today, I will go home feeling less burdened and stressed than I have in a long time.
Thanks be to God!

Today, I celebrate.

Yup. It's my birthday.

And, (apparently) I like the word "yup." I've used it too much in my typing lately... along with "apparently"...

Today, I am blessed to have been given 27 years on this planet, and to have spent 22 of them as a child of God. How much better can it get?

Life may not be easy, but I sure am thankful today.

Thankful for the several/many (I didn't count) friends who have wished me "happy birthday" on facebook or via email - both old and new and in-between. Including a link to a song from my brother, which made me laugh (though I don't really like the show) because I could hear him singing it in my head (though I've never heard him singing that particular song either - i don't think - but I know the voice he uses to mimick such things). I laughed out loud. Thanks Drew.

I am thankful that I am breathing. I am thankful that I have a place to live, a job to support me, and friends and family who care for me. And for the Starbucks treat that came my way unexpectedly today (a venti (L) drink for the price of a different (cheaper) grande (M), and a coupon for a free drink the next time I decide I'd like Starbucks). Mm. nice.

Plus, I'm looking forward to a long weekend (thanks for the labor-day weekend always around my birthday) with friends, family, friends, family, and possibly more friends.

Today, I feel like I can do anything.
Today, I celebrate.

I am Kara, hear me roar.