My Crazy Life

Time for an update? I think so. I can’t really believe I haven’t written since December! The past 3 months have been a little crazy in my little life. Since Easter (April 4 & 5), I worked my last week at The Compass, moved to Minneapolis, started my new job at the Evangelical Free Church of America, finished unpacking and organizing (except for the books and movies – they’re shelved, but that’s it) and got my new driver’s license, and am getting a new car next week (hopefully – and that isn’t partially broken!). That’s a lot.  I still haven’t settled on a new “home church” but am close. I miss friends, family, belonging. Some mornings I wake up, walk into my living room and think, I’m in Minnesota. Woah. I still can’t completely believe it. My beloved cabin is only 1.5-2 hours away now instead of 8. Yes, I am a lucky girl.

Next up: finish getting a car and... get a library card! ;)

Ok, so I bet you’re wondering how this all came about. Well, for the past couple years I have felt restless – I have prayed for clarity, peace, calm, and many of you have prayed with me. Several months ago, on a very bad day, I decided (thanks to prompting from my mom) to just see if there might be something to apply for at the EFCA in Minneapolis. There wasn’t, but there was a “give us your email and we’ll let you know if anything opens up” box – which I completed. I didn’t really think about it again after a day or so, partly because I was pretty sure if I ever did hear from them that it would be something for which I wasn’t qualified. 

Fast forward to March 12th. I received an email notification for an administrative job – a perfect fit. I was shocked. I prayed, and since I was at work, decided to ignore it until after our big event on Saturday morning. I could NOT stop thinking about it. I asked God to get it out of my mind until Saturday unless He wanted me to do something sooner. I couldn’t get it out of my mind! So, Friday morning before I went in for an extra day of work to prepare for the event, I completed the application. Friday afternoon while I ate a late lunch I saw that I had an email response – a form letter asking for completion of a few more questions, which I did. The event on Saturday went well, I worked Sunday too since one of my coworkers was sick and two others were out of town, and Sunday afternoon I crashed.

Monday MORNING I received a phone call asking if I could interview that week. I did a Skype interview that Friday, at the end of which I was told I’d be sent some assessments on Monday. I actually received the first one that afternoon, which I completed. On Monday morning (now we’re at Monday, the 23rd) I got the other assessments, which I did that night right after work. Tuesday around 11a, they called to ask for a second interview. I let my boss know what was going on and she gave me her blessing to follow God’s apparent leading, and that she’d be praying. That Friday, March 27th, I was in Minneapolis for my first in person (but second) interview. It went very well, and I felt like I was already joining the team. I had to remind myself all the way home that it was not for sure, but even my brother was lamenting already how unfair it was that I’d be moving only a couple hours from our lake. ;) I told him it wasn’t for sure, we didn’t really know that, and he confidently said, “Yeah, but you’re moving to Minnesota.” It made me smile. I had been told I’d hear by the end of the week – likely nearer the end.

In the meantime, Trinity International University (my alma mater) had called me for an interview for a position I’d applied for about a week prior to the EFCA job due to the urging of a friend and more prayer. It was something I thought I could do, but I didn’t know if it would really work, or even if it was the right idea. My interview was to be Tuesday, the 31st, so I stayed with my friend Alicia on campus from Saturday night through Monday. Monday I worked from a desk near her office. At 8:30a I got texts from 2 of my references saying they’d just talked to the EFCA. WOAH. By 10a I had a job offer, which I accepted via phone – and would accept officially via email a few hours later. It had been two weeks and two days since I’d HEARD about the opportunity.

Clearly, very clearly, this was God’s plan. I cancelled my interview with Trinity, called my parents and told my closest friends, and my boss – who were all excited for me. Tuesday first thing I submitted my notice. The week following Easter was my last. It was a good place to be and I learned a lot, and I love people there, but I cannot explain the peace that exists when you are living in God’s plan – it has been chaotic and crazy and fast, but it has been good.

I have learned a ton in my first two months here. I have made connections with people here, and some of them are becoming friends. I look forward to settling into a church (which is hard in the land of 10,000 lakes during the summer) and getting into a small group. My apartment feels like home, though it will more so once a few friends have been there, which is happening soon as friends from Illinois come to visit. I will also feel more settled once I reorganize (properly) my book and movie shelves and get a library card so I can get … more books!

Thanks to all of you who have prayed, all of you who have been patiently waiting for the details of this update, and those of you who have listened lovingly and kindly to the moments when I’m freaking out (DMVs and driver’s knowledge tests are STRESSFUL)! God has blessed me richly, and most of it is because of you. God is good, and my story is proof!

I promise it won’t be as long again before I write… at least, I hope not! Until then...

Five Years

Today. Today, five years ago, I started work at The Compass Church (which was then known as EFCN). It has not necessarily been an easy 5 years, but I would say they have been good overall.

In that time I have deepened friendships that were just beginning, as well as made some even in the past 7-8 months that I never saw coming (isn't God good?). I have learned a lot - about myself, about my faith, about my stubbornness (or perhaps diligence), about my job and my abilities. I have some regrets, of course, but often those things I neglected or mistook or screwed up have been the motivation that has pushed me onward and upward.

I have gotten excited too about what I can imagine for the future. Some of these things seem so far out of reach, or out of my "zone of ability" (whatever that is). Others just seem like the type of thing you daydream about but never actually have the time or money to do (travel, film and edit things, etc.). But some of these things seem... within reach. Sort of.

I mean, there are many obstacles no matter what we do in life. When I started my job, I hoped I'd still be there, still like it in 5 years, but I honestly just wasn't sure. Now that I've reached that milestone, I have no idea what the next 5 will hold. I may still be here, doing what I'm doing, making what tiny difference I can with what I've been given. I may live somewhere else. I may not know any of my close friends in the same way anymore (woah, just got a bit depressing, let's move it along quickly, ok?) and I may have a few (or many) new ones I've yet to meet. But I see possibilities, and that's exciting.

While today is a milestone of sorts, and one I haven't crossed before, it is also just another day. Another day in the life God has given me to use my gifts to the best of my ability to glorify Him. And in the end, that's the whole point to anything I ever do. The future, whatever it holds, can come as it may.

The Doctor & Captain Bluebear

I have been reading "The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear" (which I discovered thanks to a recommendation by an Australian YouTuber and his list of favorite novels). There's a part in the middle of the story where the Bluebear has an affect on something that happened in his past by what he does in his present (the future). Suddenly, the author is explaining to the reader (directly) about how this is possible and why it can happen and that it doesn't make sense "but there it is".

I realized that it bothered me not because it was confusion, but because i couldn't understand a need for the explanation. Clearly I've watched a ton of Doctor Who; this type of thing is a common occurrence in several story lines, and among many characters. Particularly, I recall a recent episode (vague spoiler alert, skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to be spoiled or let down from vagueness) when the Doctor does something simply because he knows he did it since he saw the results in the past even though he's using the past experience to tell him what to do in his present (the future from the past) so he can still succeed in the same way in the past and get to the future where he can do those things to help himself (and others) in the past (and in the future). It's a bit of a crazy circle, huh?

But, I'm long past the confusion, it makes perfect sense now (yeah right, but I've given in - it's too confusing otherwise (and anyway) so you have to or quit watching, which just isn't an option). I love that crazy show. So much.

I'm a writer...

hehe. :)

Info.

NaNoWriMo 2010

I've decided to join the challenge this year...

What is it? Click here.
How am I doing? Click here. (Remember, it doesn't start until November 1.)

(and no, 1:42 a.m. is NOT a typo...)

getting sucked in

there are far too many sites to interact with/watch/see pictures of/stalk other people. strange. very.

and yet.

i'm getting sucked in.
wholly and completely.
and quickly.

it's rather frightening.


it all started with email. darn that new internet thing. back in the... whenever it was... moving on.

then came facebook - and i held off. it got huge while i was in college, but i didn't really care. heck, i hardly checked email that much, except when i had to for class stuff. suddenly, it was how i stayed in contact with my couple friends from high school, and those who had graduated from college - i believe it began with staying in touch over the first summer. i graduated, email was part of everyday life, like phone calls. no biggie.

and then.
facebook.
i caved. it is now part of my life - like email. although it seems to be dwindling in many ways - especially with people my age. it seems to still be pretty big with high schoolers and with parents who keep family and friends updated about their kids and such. i must admit, i love being able to see pics of my sweet niece whenever my brother or sister have time to post them. i also am thrilled with the fact that i can keep updated with friends and family who live out of town, out of state, even out of the country. fabulous. even if it's getting 'old' it still serves a fairly decent purpose.

ok. so. recap: email - check. facebook - check. twitter? youtube? blogging? others? not so much. yet.

sure, i used youtube to look stuff up, i watch videos. i do not videoblog. i don't have a youtube channel. although, thanks to mrboyproductions, i started check their youtube channel (and now a few others) from time to time. great videos. example here.

then my brother stepped in.
he uses the internet in a way i hadn't even thought about (really) before. he gets to know people. part of this is because he's just cool like that. when he was in edinburgh, he met some of these people. but he 'knew' several of them before. crazy. he plays chess. he makes up riddles. they converse, trade ideas, jokes, favorite beers. he met this one guy from scotland. well, before that he sent me this video (very funny) to watch, that a friend had shared with him. and he kept following this scottish guy and shortly thereafter found and sent me this one (yes, we're Doctor Who fans...) and then ... he (my bro) met him when he was there for a year. they're actually friends now - at least from what i can gather.

then i began this blog. it's been a year and a half already - what??!?!? - and this (woah) is my 100th post (woot!). crazy.

when my brother was home for christmas he showed me all these sites - the chess ones (yup, more than one), the discussion forums, twitter, dailybooth, etc.

two days ago, i joined twitter.
i'm still not sure how i feel about that.


i think i'm secretly stalking my own brother.
and i may not even know it.
creepy.

The Impact of Interactions

It's been a crazy couple weeks, and the last couple days have packed quite a punch. I've been thinking about leadership and spiritually deep subjects from time to time, but not as much as I had been lately. I've been so busy that by the time I get home and *ahem* have time to think, I'm too tired. All I can think is: food, something-to-dull-my-brain-from-thinking-about-work (tv/movie), read, and sleep. Sometimes that doesn't work, and I don't sleep enough and thus, have a rough day the next day. Today was especially tough. So, I came home more exhausted than ever, and ate some junk and spent time watching a kids' movie to cheer me up (ironically, I watched Disney's UP). Then I got a tiny wind and decided to make a few notes about the things that have been on my mind: interactions and connections with others, and how they affect leadership.

This thought from my friend Mike (see my last post for more) is very true: "...don’t network just for the sake of 'building a huge number of connections.' Provide value, add to the conversation, help people without expecting anything in return." I don't necessarily agree with everything Mike said, but there was a lot of good in there. Too many people don't think about "connections" this way -- they just like the numbers. "I have X,000 friends on Facebook, myspace, Twitter, etc." It doesn't seem to matter how often they really connect with those people, or how sincere or impactful those connections are at any given point in time. The number is what matters most. Sometimes it's the only thing that does. And that can't be good - for anyone. And, it doesn't matter that you "get something" back. It's about doing, not getting. Don't just be there to be there. Do something. Make a difference - even if it's small. Our culture isn't inclined to think that way enough, if at all.

Then today, I had some negative interactions. Most of them originated from others. The ones that came from me were (mostly) in response to those that were directed at/to me. I am fairly confident that these folks did not intend to act negatively toward me; but they did. They caused a busy day to become more stressful, to overload my already slow mind, to cause me some emotional upheaval. Now, I will take ownership of my reactions. I know that I am a very emotional person, even for a girl; always have been. It is something I strive to keep in check every day.

However, when stressers and such interfere with whatever it is I am trying to accomplish/think about/do, I lose some of the control over my emotional reins because I have to divert that energy into roping in that other situation. Somehow, someday, I hope to overcome this problem better than I have thus far, and to be able to keep those emotions in check more easily, and let them out only when necessary. [I feel the need to note that I truly believe God has created me in a way that causes me to have emotions that are more affected by outside situations/people/stimuli than most other people. When I see someone hurting, I often hurt with them, and don't always understand why. When I feel like I haven't done my best, or have let someone down, I have an emotional response. It isn't very pleasant. (Yes, some of that is a self-esteem problem, we'll tackle that another day.) Often, this helps me sympathize with people in a way others may not be able to do. Other times, it causes issues with my emotional stability.] But when my emotions "act up" there isn't much I can do to hold them in check, hard as I try. This can mean I'm exceedingly giddy and happy, or very depressed and feeling useless and unwanted. How can leaders be missing what needs to be watched for, so that people who follow them (those who are like me, and those who are not) do not end up in these jumbled, crazy states of mind?

Leaders must always be aware of the impact their interactions have on those they lead. That means the interactions you have face-to-face, email-to-email, voicemail-to-voicemail, or even through another person. The impact of interactions (and the importance of awareness) is often lost when you lose the face-to-face. I believe it is even harder when it is through that third party person. There is still human interaction going on (and not through a technology medium) but it is just as severely disconnected for the leader (maybe even more so), and can often result in reactions by the follower and the "go-between" that can be extremely unpleasant for both. Thus, it is vitally important to be aware of the impact you are having through any interaction - personal or impersonal - with a follower. I realize this sounds like a big obligation, and it is. Leadership is an immense responsibility that should not be taken lightly. But it is also a great blessing if done properly - for both the leader and the follower(s).

The way you interact (or don't interact) with others is extremely important - whether you're a leader or not. It says a ton about who you are, how you work, how you think, what's important to you, who's important to you. It affects the way the people around you feel about many things - the situation, the environment you're in, you, even themselves. People who understand the importance of interactions and the tenor of them are often people in leadership (not always, mind you, but often). Think about it; how do you interact throughout each day?

Surviving the crazy weeks

I have actually gotten through 2 of 3 crazy Christmastime weeks at work. (!)

The first one had moments, not lengths, of crazy. And I was foolish enough to think "hm, this might not be so bad this year!" Stupid to think that. I should have known better.

The second week was much more crazy. It had moments of peace. Actually, it only had nano-seconds. But that's ok. I still saw God working, and in the end, that's what it's all about. Completely. Plus, when it was all over (and I actually mean literally after the event was over on Saturday night - well, ok, literally after I was finished cleaning up for the immediately following service) I had several people saying "thank you" to our team, and expressing how much they enjoyed it and how great it was to have this event at our church. Bonus. Glory to God!

Now, I look forward to the last week. I know there will be moments of crazy. I am hoping that the craziness this week is limited to nano-seconds (reverse of last week). I actually think that may be possible. But I know that when this week is over, God's glory will be shown - through everything I'm lucky enough to be involved in. My job, my volunteering in the choir and the production they're doing this weekend, and all the extra time that goes with it.

I look forward to seeing family on Sunday, as well as friends, family, and more friends in the two weeks following, along with some time off from work. I look forward to going back after this break refreshed and ready to jump into the new year with new anticipation and excitement for how God is moving in our area, in our church, in our lives, in our hearts.

It's gonna be good. I can't wait.

Crazy

can be Awesome.

God has shown me that through this past few weeks. I have been working strange and long hours, I have been so tired I don't know what's keeping me going, I have craved diet coke (which my friends do, but I do not, although I do enjoy it). These types of things should drive a person crazy, but instead, I have felt blessed. And I have seen many others blessed because of what is going on in my church.

This weekend consists of:

• Good Friday services (2)
• Easter ExploXion (Egg Hunt & more)
• Easter Eve services (2)
• Easter Morning services (3)

I don't have a ton of time to write (tons still going on), but I felt the need to just jot these things down.

God can use the crazy - if you let Him. He turns good attitudes in a crazy time into a wonderful witness. It encourages people you didn't even know needed encouragement. He lets you see the kids with huge smiles on their faces. He lets you hear their parents talking about what a great thing it is for their families.

We had 2 services for Good Friday, and God provided workers. He provided kids for how many crafts we had prepared so we weren't wasteful. He provided stands for banners in the nick of time this morning. He provided people to volunteer at all the stations that we needed this morning. He provided patience as people waited in lines for egg hunts, obstacle courses, cookie decorating, and petting zoos. He is providing people to blow up balloons, as well as to hand them out to the kids that come, both tonight and tomorrow morning. He is providing people to watch and teach children tonight and tomorrow.

I am excited to see what else He will do tonight and tomorrow as young and old are presented with the opportunity to walk through the door and accept Christ into their lives.

I know that the impact this weekend will be huge.
Thank you, Lord!!

A Wonderful Thanksgiving is over...

...here comes CHRISTMAS!!!!

I, personally, was jumping for joy as it started to snow on me when I was walking into church yesterday morning. Not outwardly, of course, that would make me look ridiculous. But inwardly, I was jumping higher than the moon.

Many of my friends, and most of the people I work with (not all, mind you, but most) wish the snow was over already - the plowing, the scraping, the brushing of snow off of cars. Well, I suppose there is one weekend in December for which they will allow and even pray for snow (and it isn't surrounding Christmas), but other than that, they wish it was closer to 90 degrees again. (no thanks, yuck.)

Of those people, many of them have no good excuse! They've grown up here, in the midwest, with crazy-long winters that linger forever (not my favorite, but not unexpected) and no excuse to behave like they came from Florida or California. But they do. You'd think they'd just moved here. oy. There are a couple who legitimately have that excuse (I know from the experience of watching my mom that although you may have lived in the midwest for several years, you never really get used to it if you grew up in a warmer climate), however, I just can't understand it.

It isn't that I enjoy being cold. I don't. I like to be warm & cozy. I enjoy it in the spring and summer when the sun is out and I can be outside alot. BUT: what better time to be bundled up in a blanket (coziest thing ever) than when there is snow outside and the temperature is around or just below freezing? Does a fire ever feel better than then? Does a cup of warm hot cocoa ever taste better? I think not. Plus, I just don't like it when you're uncomfortably warm and can't do anything about it. When it's cold you just get to add more comfy blankets and drink more delicious tea. It just makes me so happy! Add a good book into the mix, and I may never leave.

So, if you are one of those who are wishing it were June already, just let me give you this bit of advice. We're just at the beginning of winter (don't let that depress you). Don't be discouraged, don't be sad, or angry. Just give in to the wonders this season brings. I encourage you to look out your window at the branch of a tree covered in icicles and snow and look at the amazing designs - they are so delicate and so beautiful, and this is the time of year to take it in. You can't stare at snow in June, or even March* for that matter. Enjoy the snow while it lasts. Go sledding with family or friends. Curl up with a hot drink and a book. Spend some time thinking about the wonders of winter. It's a magical thing.

*I realize that last year, this was not entirely true. There was snow on Easter Sunday, in early April. But, really folks, that's not common, even here. So- take this for what it was meant to be, ok? ;)

(Did you find the secrets? It should please you, Haggis boy,
aka. Duggert...)