decisions

wow. everything i can think to write right now has a negative spin on it. :( not good.

i have some BIG decisions in my life right now, and because i am waiting on God to guide me and am not yet sure what that means, i won't go into any details. suffice it to say it would be a big change in almost every way, and despite the things i am fearing, i also am very excited about it. i hope i can find some clarity and definitive answers soon so i can start "shouting from the mountaintops" as it were.

in the mean time sitting here, slogging through the day to day is getting rougher. it's harder to sit still. it's harder to keep going. to be motivated, internally or externally. i just want to sit outside in the fresh air, read books, listen to music, eat lunch with friends, talk about possibilities.

God, give me strength to keep doing what you've asked me to do - even for a time.
i just feel so ... restless.