Buried

I've been living in boxes for over a month. I'll admit, I'm a little tired of it. Who wouldn't be? Maybe there's someone out there, but I just feel buried.

As I told my roommate on Tuesday night (or was it last night?), I feel like we need more closets - but that won't happen. I don't know where I got all this stuff, or where to put it. We have a storage closet, but my organizing brain is fearing that it isn't large enough. It is also fearing any attempt to put shelves up - the cost, the work involved (I don't trust myself with shelves...build a dresser, a bookshelf, a dollhouse, sure, but put up level shelves? No way, Jack.) and so on. Some how it will all work out. I got rid of the not necessaries before I moved, and am confident that I kept the things I will want/need, and not the things I could do without ever seeing again.

*breathe*

Ok, that being said, despite feeling buried, we are making good progress. We have a functional living room, with a few boxes that need to be taken down to said storage area once all is finished being unpacked, and a kitchen that one of our good friends unpacked for us - such a blessing! I was able to paint in my room, and have it dried before the moving of furniture, and am excited to have a bit of color, and not be stuck in whiteness again/still/always. I just have to figure out a few logistical things in my closet, and unpack the 10 1/2 boxes of books (yes, for real).

I'm hoping tonight is the night that I finish. I have grand plans. Whenever that time comes, you can bet I'll be celebrating. I'd like to break the record - the last time I moved I was completely unpacked in 2 weeks. Saturday makes 1. Goal created.

And slightly feared. 

Promises

I promise to get better at this again... it just may take a little while to get settled back in...

I have been beyond busy since January, and with Easter just over, and summer looming, it doesn't let up. Throw into the equation my move to my new apartment in less than 2 weeks. I'm excited about the move (with an awesome roommate), but it adds to the BUSY. I am sick of packing, and loathe the thought of unpacking. I'm already looking forward to my vacation at the end of June, when I can really rest up despite having just had a 4-day weekend (it was full of packing and cleaning, not much of the much-needed-rest).

So, I think of writing, but never quite get there. And today, I'm so stressed I can't sit still, can't think straight, can't quite figure out how to keep going, or what to work on, or how.

I have this feeling I need to be bold, but don't know where to begin, or what that really looks like right now. I know I need to keep my faith strong, and that I still live in the promises God has given me. I need to be better at reading my Bible daily (more than, really) so those promises are etched deeper into my brain. I feel restless, I feel incomplete, I feel like I'm floating and can't find the ground beneath me.

I'm glad I'm not the One in control.
But I admit, I wish He'd give me a blueprint to follow. Or a list. I like lists.
Deep breath.
Continue.

Woah. It's almost May.

I meant to blog more frequently. Honest, I did. When I realized I'd missed most of March, I thought I'd make up for it (or at least get back on track) in April. But it's officially the 26th, so I guess I missed that boat by a long shot. I suppose this will be a bit rambling, as I should really be sleeping by now. I apologize now so you can't complain later (not that you ever do).

I've been working - a lot - and finding (with my roommate) the next place I will live. The place we found is not too far away - just back to the next town (city?) over. I'll live in the same place I work in for the first time in 6 (7?) years. I suppose that's a little weird for me, but not really. The drive will be similar in time, but it is a little closer, so that'll be nice for the wallet. Let's hope.

I have just come through the Easter season at work, which is always busier than I remember, but also equally blessing to so many that it's worth it - even if I'm more exhausted than I care to admit. I also realized over this past weekend that I'm moving soon. As in, 3 weeks soon. And I have a lot of cleaning, packing, transferring of bills, canceling of services, etc. to do before that time comes. Thankfully, because of all that time working, I have some days off this week to help me recover... and pack.

Today I meant to do most of the cleaning around the house (before there are literally boxes everywhere), but my body had other ideas - as it does now. I slept late-ish, read, fell asleep again, got up, ate, started to clean, sat down to let the drano do it's thing, was too tired to get my butt off the couch, finally did get off the couch, continued the cleaning, realized I needed to eat, made dinner, finished cleaning the one area (for now), and have spent a chunk of my evening listening to talented people sing songs and talk about interesting things on YouTube, and attempting to start rallying people to help us move.

When it started to rain, I shut my eyes, thinking I'd be able to start drifting off, and head to bed. That was 3 hours ago.

And I'm so tired.
Here's hoping I won't fall asleep during my many meetings tomorrow...

And you thought it was Spring...

silly rabbit.

I know this is a bit redundant - I've said it a few times today - but seriously? SNOW?? in APRIL??? Nice April Fool's joke for us, as that's the forecast for tomorrow. 

Yeah, I know, I live in Chicagoland and we have 2 seasons, winter & construction. In reality, we actually have a couple weeks of spring and fall - whether you believe it or not. And it tricked us, as it always does. We had a (literally, one) week of beautiful, sunny, mid-50s to mid-60s weather. Then it got colder again as expected, and the threat of snow is always there when the overnight temps lie around 20-25. But as it gets closer to April, we all always hold out hope that it won't snow again. Of course, it always does. How have we not learned this?
Hope springs eternal.

And the sun comes back on Saturday.

I need You

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need You
I need You here
I need You now
I need security somehow
I need You
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause You're everything I need

"I Need You" by Relient K

Ditto.

It's all I've got today.

Ditto to what? This.
Probably this too...
Plus, work is ... work.



to quote myself: "Trust on."

to quote David:
"...He is my fortress. I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

to quote the One Who loves me:
"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness'... I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me...for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Missing

friends                 time                 books

(seems like) sanity                 energy

niece                 family in other states

daily exercise                 daily devotions


some i can do something about.
others, horribly, i can't.