(over the past couple days i've seen this phrase a few places, and a tune has been running through my head. i have no idea what the tune is - it's probably parts of about a thousand songs that have lines like this one in them. in any case, tonight as i was humming to myself, this -bizarre- poem started to write itself. it is not intended to make sense, since it doesn't, and it is not meant to be a song or a thematic anything. it just wanted to come out.)
blue. deep blue.
stucco on my ceiling.
the soothing sound of steam
while i’m agitated. anxious.
i smell something soft and furry
it’s crazy since i have no pet,
but i do.
it's sort of calming.
the dim light of my bedside lamp
makes the atmosphere for a tired evening
“if you feel my love,”
you can come closer
but you don’t,
so you can’t.
neither can i
just lonely.
just quiet.
just peace.
despite all my words
i don’t have much to say
and none of it makes
any sense
but it’s ok.
let's just leave it be
at least tonight
Friday, March 9, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
on lethargy
ever have one of those days when you just cannot accomplish ... ANYTHING??
today was like that. yesterday was full of meetings, which sort of kills the day. then i went home to clean (yay for finally putting christmas away!) and followed that with some fun things (dye your hair, paint your nails, watch quirky british detective-meets-horticulture show) for myself; my reward for a crazy week last week.
today i planned to accomplish much. but after "settling in" at work took FAR more than the usual 20 minutes this morning, i kind of just putzed around until lunch, then rushed back for a meeting after which i ACOMPLISHED NOTHING. seriously, i know i did get some things done today, but i just felt so lethargic! i couldn't shake it either, so that was a little weird. usually i can shake it by taking a little walk, getting some fresh water, or chatting to a friend for a few minutes. today, no dice. i couldn't get focused. i couldn't even remember from one moment to the next what it was i was planning to do next!
yes, i know: tomorrow's another day! it will keep! it's ok to have days like this! we all do! but it certainly was a little disconcerting. not terrible, but i sure hope it doesn't continue into tomorrow or it will be a very very VERY long night - and that would not be good!
in a little bit, i'm off to small group to connect with friends and God's Word. here's hoping it resets both my energy and focus levels and makes tomorrow much more productive. ;)
today was like that. yesterday was full of meetings, which sort of kills the day. then i went home to clean (yay for finally putting christmas away!) and followed that with some fun things (dye your hair, paint your nails, watch quirky british detective-meets-horticulture show) for myself; my reward for a crazy week last week.
today i planned to accomplish much. but after "settling in" at work took FAR more than the usual 20 minutes this morning, i kind of just putzed around until lunch, then rushed back for a meeting after which i ACOMPLISHED NOTHING. seriously, i know i did get some things done today, but i just felt so lethargic! i couldn't shake it either, so that was a little weird. usually i can shake it by taking a little walk, getting some fresh water, or chatting to a friend for a few minutes. today, no dice. i couldn't get focused. i couldn't even remember from one moment to the next what it was i was planning to do next!
yes, i know: tomorrow's another day! it will keep! it's ok to have days like this! we all do! but it certainly was a little disconcerting. not terrible, but i sure hope it doesn't continue into tomorrow or it will be a very very VERY long night - and that would not be good!
in a little bit, i'm off to small group to connect with friends and God's Word. here's hoping it resets both my energy and focus levels and makes tomorrow much more productive. ;)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I'm a bit late with this... it's from Christmastime...
Ssooo... I meant to post this that weekend after I got home...but was busy/tired/getting ready to go back to work. Not a good excuse, since I'd gotten most of it written (in my head at least) but, there you go.
*ahem* Fresh from December 28th, a recap of a very lovely movie day with my best friend. And yes, it includes reviews, a couple spoilers, and is quite long. I'm only a little sorry about that.
Our movie list for the day:
1. Jane Eyre (with Mia Wasikowska and Dame Judy Dench)
2. The Help
3. The Secret Garden (with Dame Maggie Smith)
4. Despicable Me
5. The King’s Speech
6. Becoming Jane
7. The Young Victoria
Jane Eyre. Jane was so good. This guy was the perfect Mr. Rochester. Not as mean as William Hurt’s version, not as creepy as the 2006 miniseries guy; and I never liked Ciaran Hinds as Edward. Timothy Dalton was ok, but a little … too overbearing; nevertheless he’s been my favorite Rochester so far. I loved Mia as Jane. I wasn’t sure what to expect with her coming from (the only other thing I’ve seen her in) Alice (with Johnny Depp). Now, I loved Alice, and loved her as Alice. BUT, that is a very different type of story and storytelling than Jane Eyre, which is such a classic. I love it. The only thing I didn’t love was St. John (“Sinjin”). He was mostly fine, and I liked him until he was angry and abrupt in the field near the end of the movie. It seemed out of character for him from every other version I’d seen, and the book as well (too over the top of a reaction, not pleading, but actually angry at Jane for not wanting to marry him). It’s my new favorite version of Jane, sorry Tim.
The Help. Such a good movie. It raises so many things that I never (and still don’t, really) understand about life then, where so many people believed those who weren’t white were less human, less important. And they were so often raised by those very people they looked down on! It makes me angry. Every time. But it so well depicted the few that were good, and the realities of crappy situations that the blacks had to go through and deal with and put up with in silence or be sent to jail, persecuted, or killed. God bless those who had the courage to speak up and speak out and stand up for themselves. And God bless those who listened. Such a good movie. And told well too. I can’t wait to read the book (yes, sorry, I did this one backwards…)
The Secret Garden. This is my favorite version with Maggie Smith as Mrs. Medlock. Seriously my favorite. The best telling of the story, the best Mary, the best Mr. Craven, Colin, Dickon, Martha…the best everything. Seriously, even if you don’t like this story, or think it’s stupid, or whatever, give this one a watch. At least once. The only part I don’t like is the bit with the fire and the calling to the “Great Magic.” It’s a bit… well, creepy to say the least. However, I love Mary’s transformation; the whole house’s transformation. So, it’s a favorite. All the old keys, the old house full of hundreds of rooms and even more secrets, it’s the perfect mystery and the perfect story of friendship, nature, and love. It’s even in my bestie’s top 10, and being the movie buff and lover that she is, that’s saying quite a lot.
Despicable Me. (skipped for time. Love it, but … it’d be after 2 in the morning if we kept it in, so since we’d both seen it, and we were too tired it was out!)
King’s Speech. (also skipped for time. Sort of sad we did, but I’ll be Netflixing it, you can be sure. Review to come.)
Becoming Jane. Anne Hathaway & James McAvoy in one of the best and saddest (if altered and imagined, at least a bit) love stories of all time. It’s sad, and happy, and exciting, and slow, and comfortable, and lonely, and disappointing, and terribly, terribly depressing… and I love it.
The Young Victoria. Again, how can you not love this movie. A real love story. So lovely, so beautiful. I love Emily Blunt – she’s perfect in this. I also love … uh, Mr. Wickham whose real name I can’t remember for the life of me who plays Prince Albert. He is fantastic in this movie. It is the perfect balance of manliness and gentleness. A man fully in love, and without much control with which to win over the woman he loves. But he does, of course. I also love the facts at the end – especially that after he died (at 42, no less), Victoria had his clothes laid out every morning in his memory until she died at the age of 80. A wonderful, sweet end to our day.
Leash, thanks again for sharing those couple days with me – I will forever remember it as truly relaxing and refreshing and uplifting. I love you, dear friend!
*ahem* Fresh from December 28th, a recap of a very lovely movie day with my best friend. And yes, it includes reviews, a couple spoilers, and is quite long. I'm only a little sorry about that.
Our movie list for the day:
1. Jane Eyre (with Mia Wasikowska and Dame Judy Dench)
2. The Help
3. The Secret Garden (with Dame Maggie Smith)
6. Becoming Jane
7. The Young Victoria
Jane Eyre. Jane was so good. This guy was the perfect Mr. Rochester. Not as mean as William Hurt’s version, not as creepy as the 2006 miniseries guy; and I never liked Ciaran Hinds as Edward. Timothy Dalton was ok, but a little … too overbearing; nevertheless he’s been my favorite Rochester so far. I loved Mia as Jane. I wasn’t sure what to expect with her coming from (the only other thing I’ve seen her in) Alice (with Johnny Depp). Now, I loved Alice, and loved her as Alice. BUT, that is a very different type of story and storytelling than Jane Eyre, which is such a classic. I love it. The only thing I didn’t love was St. John (“Sinjin”). He was mostly fine, and I liked him until he was angry and abrupt in the field near the end of the movie. It seemed out of character for him from every other version I’d seen, and the book as well (too over the top of a reaction, not pleading, but actually angry at Jane for not wanting to marry him). It’s my new favorite version of Jane, sorry Tim.
The Help. Such a good movie. It raises so many things that I never (and still don’t, really) understand about life then, where so many people believed those who weren’t white were less human, less important. And they were so often raised by those very people they looked down on! It makes me angry. Every time. But it so well depicted the few that were good, and the realities of crappy situations that the blacks had to go through and deal with and put up with in silence or be sent to jail, persecuted, or killed. God bless those who had the courage to speak up and speak out and stand up for themselves. And God bless those who listened. Such a good movie. And told well too. I can’t wait to read the book (yes, sorry, I did this one backwards…)
The Secret Garden. This is my favorite version with Maggie Smith as Mrs. Medlock. Seriously my favorite. The best telling of the story, the best Mary, the best Mr. Craven, Colin, Dickon, Martha…the best everything. Seriously, even if you don’t like this story, or think it’s stupid, or whatever, give this one a watch. At least once. The only part I don’t like is the bit with the fire and the calling to the “Great Magic.” It’s a bit… well, creepy to say the least. However, I love Mary’s transformation; the whole house’s transformation. So, it’s a favorite. All the old keys, the old house full of hundreds of rooms and even more secrets, it’s the perfect mystery and the perfect story of friendship, nature, and love. It’s even in my bestie’s top 10, and being the movie buff and lover that she is, that’s saying quite a lot.
Becoming Jane. Anne Hathaway & James McAvoy in one of the best and saddest (if altered and imagined, at least a bit) love stories of all time. It’s sad, and happy, and exciting, and slow, and comfortable, and lonely, and disappointing, and terribly, terribly depressing… and I love it.
The Young Victoria. Again, how can you not love this movie. A real love story. So lovely, so beautiful. I love Emily Blunt – she’s perfect in this. I also love … uh, Mr. Wickham whose real name I can’t remember for the life of me who plays Prince Albert. He is fantastic in this movie. It is the perfect balance of manliness and gentleness. A man fully in love, and without much control with which to win over the woman he loves. But he does, of course. I also love the facts at the end – especially that after he died (at 42, no less), Victoria had his clothes laid out every morning in his memory until she died at the age of 80. A wonderful, sweet end to our day.
Leash, thanks again for sharing those couple days with me – I will forever remember it as truly relaxing and refreshing and uplifting. I love you, dear friend!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Doctor in the House
I'm obsessed with Doctor Who. Those who know me IRL are not surprised by this statement. Well, maybe you are - it goes in waves. I love the show, but lately, I've been missing it, so I've been compensating in other ways: watching older episodes/re-watching the Christmas episode, making DW crafts, and so on. (yes, crafts.)
I love that it helps me escape in an interesting, thought provoking way. I love that I can have fun conversations with friends (and strangers) face to face as well as over the internet about the joys of the Doctor's world, etc. I love that I can talk about it with a dear friend at work who geeks out over it as much as I do. I love that my dad, mom, youngest brother, and his girlfriend will all geek out over it with me, discuss the possibilities to come, and watch previous episodes together pointing out the things we hope the other didn't miss. Oh, and the quoting of all the good lines. We've had entire conversations that are mostly just quoting sections of one episode after another. good fun. ;)
Sometimes you just need that little escape into something that is fun, still interesting, but has nothing whatsoever to do with your normal life. I've also been hoping to catch up on "Classic Doctor" but am having trouble finding episodes at all, much less in order (which I'd prefer).
What get's you relaxed/geeked out?
I love that it helps me escape in an interesting, thought provoking way. I love that I can have fun conversations with friends (and strangers) face to face as well as over the internet about the joys of the Doctor's world, etc. I love that I can talk about it with a dear friend at work who geeks out over it as much as I do. I love that my dad, mom, youngest brother, and his girlfriend will all geek out over it with me, discuss the possibilities to come, and watch previous episodes together pointing out the things we hope the other didn't miss. Oh, and the quoting of all the good lines. We've had entire conversations that are mostly just quoting sections of one episode after another. good fun. ;)
Sometimes you just need that little escape into something that is fun, still interesting, but has nothing whatsoever to do with your normal life. I've also been hoping to catch up on "Classic Doctor" but am having trouble finding episodes at all, much less in order (which I'd prefer).
What get's you relaxed/geeked out?
Friday, December 16, 2011
It's been 3 months...
quite literally.
how did that happen?
well, i did say i'd be on hiatus...
i think often of things i'd like to write, but don't have the time. or it seems too mundane to write an entire post about. i assume most bloggers feel the same way, but somehow find a way around it. or are just better writers than i am. or maybe most of them just have more interesting lives...
in any case, we're less than 1 1/2 weeks from Christmas, and i'm giddy with thoughts of family, friends, babies, pedicures, cookies, delicious food of all kinds, and general happiness. oh, and time off work. i can't wait. my twin nephews are 3 1/2 months old, and they are adorable as ever (as is my niece) and i just wish i had (if not a time machine to be able to re-do periods of time and do EVERYTHING) at least a space machine that would allow me to travel the 2 hours in seconds so i could go visit more often. this would help with friendships as well.
maybe i should invent that.
yes. i'll get on it.
well, that's really all the time i can spare today - and it will probably be another (but hopefully not as) long span of time before i write again... if you have ideas of what i can write about/stories you'd like to hear, leave comments, let me know. :)
Until then - have a happy Christmas!
how did that happen?
well, i did say i'd be on hiatus...
i think often of things i'd like to write, but don't have the time. or it seems too mundane to write an entire post about. i assume most bloggers feel the same way, but somehow find a way around it. or are just better writers than i am. or maybe most of them just have more interesting lives...
in any case, we're less than 1 1/2 weeks from Christmas, and i'm giddy with thoughts of family, friends, babies, pedicures, cookies, delicious food of all kinds, and general happiness. oh, and time off work. i can't wait. my twin nephews are 3 1/2 months old, and they are adorable as ever (as is my niece) and i just wish i had (if not a time machine to be able to re-do periods of time and do EVERYTHING) at least a space machine that would allow me to travel the 2 hours in seconds so i could go visit more often. this would help with friendships as well.
maybe i should invent that.
yes. i'll get on it.
well, that's really all the time i can spare today - and it will probably be another (but hopefully not as) long span of time before i write again... if you have ideas of what i can write about/stories you'd like to hear, leave comments, let me know. :)
Until then - have a happy Christmas!
Friday, September 16, 2011
The Doctor & Captain Bluebear
I have been reading "The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear" (which I discovered thanks to a recommendation by an Australian YouTuber and his list of favorite novels). There's a part in the middle of the story where the Bluebear has an affect on something that happened in his past by what he does in his present (the future). Suddenly, the author is explaining to the reader (directly) about how this is possible and why it can happen and that it doesn't make sense "but there it is".
I realized that it bothered me not because it was confusion, but because i couldn't understand a need for the explanation. Clearly I've watched a ton of Doctor Who; this type of thing is a common occurrence in several story lines, and among many characters. Particularly, I recall a recent episode (vague spoiler alert, skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to be spoiled or let down from vagueness) when the Doctor does something simply because he knows he did it since he saw the results in the past even though he's using the past experience to tell him what to do in his present (the future from the past) so he can still succeed in the same way in the past and get to the future where he can do those things to help himself (and others) in the past (and in the future). It's a bit of a crazy circle, huh?
But, I'm long past the confusion, it makes perfect sense now (yeah right, but I've given in - it's too confusing otherwise (and anyway) so you have to or quit watching, which just isn't an option). I love that crazy show. So much.
I realized that it bothered me not because it was confusion, but because i couldn't understand a need for the explanation. Clearly I've watched a ton of Doctor Who; this type of thing is a common occurrence in several story lines, and among many characters. Particularly, I recall a recent episode (vague spoiler alert, skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to be spoiled or let down from vagueness) when the Doctor does something simply because he knows he did it since he saw the results in the past even though he's using the past experience to tell him what to do in his present (the future from the past) so he can still succeed in the same way in the past and get to the future where he can do those things to help himself (and others) in the past (and in the future). It's a bit of a crazy circle, huh?
But, I'm long past the confusion, it makes perfect sense now (yeah right, but I've given in - it's too confusing otherwise (and anyway) so you have to or quit watching, which just isn't an option). I love that crazy show. So much.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Unavoidable Hiatus
Unavoidable:
1. I have no working computer at home.
2. Posts I want to write are usually longer than the updates I can easily post on fb or twitter.
3. I so strongly desire to write most days, either here, or working on a story or poem or whatever, but it is hard to keep track of and keep it regular and/or fluent without a computer.
Thus,
1. I will be "hiatusing" until this is resolved.
2. I fully expect that from time to time (as it will take a bit to sort out a new computer) I will find a place to post, most likely shorter ones.
3. I am a little sad not to be sharing things more frequently, but appreciate your patience, and hope you'll return to read when I'm back -- and bring others with you!:)
p.s. if anyone wants to donate to the cause (funny stories, encouraging notes, commiserating comments, monetary gifts) feel free... check out my 'Talk' page. ;)
1. I have no working computer at home.
2. Posts I want to write are usually longer than the updates I can easily post on fb or twitter.
3. I so strongly desire to write most days, either here, or working on a story or poem or whatever, but it is hard to keep track of and keep it regular and/or fluent without a computer.
Thus,
1. I will be "hiatusing" until this is resolved.
2. I fully expect that from time to time (as it will take a bit to sort out a new computer) I will find a place to post, most likely shorter ones.
3. I am a little sad not to be sharing things more frequently, but appreciate your patience, and hope you'll return to read when I'm back -- and bring others with you!:)
p.s. if anyone wants to donate to the cause (funny stories, encouraging notes, commiserating comments, monetary gifts) feel free... check out my 'Talk' page. ;)
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